Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Thats Not How It Happened

After watching Revenge of the Sith twice opening day (it was an accident, I swear), I've decided something. Thats not how it happened. Thank you, Mr. Lucas, it was an interesting idea, but I must say you are wrong. Darth Vader's origin story is so much cooler than that.

In my head is where the real story exists. In my head there is no Jar Jar, no Meticlorians, no Virgin birth, no Count Dooku, no Droid Army, no Galactic Senate meetings broadcast via Republic C-Span. I'll let you in on how it really happened:

Episode I: The Buddy Flick... Obi Wan is a reckless but faithful Jedi. He is sent on a mission and needs a pilot, so he is assigned a 20-year-old Anakin. The rest of the movie is them becoming best friends while saving the galaxy. Skywalker shows promise. The movie ends with Obi wan deciding to secretly train him.

Episode II: The Training Flick... Anakin learns the force, starts to let it go to his head, falls in love with Padme, becomes a badass Jedi.

Episode III: The Love Triangle... Padme is pushed away by Anakin's lust for power. She is comforted by Obi-Wan. Skywalker gets jealous. Some other shit happens and *bam* Darth Vader.

Thats I've got swimming around in my head. What did you expect? Fan Fiction? No, my point is that when something is a important to you as Star Wars was to me growing up, you dont have to settle for someone elses vision. You can make up your own. So, there you have it, the real Vader prequels. Or as real as they are in my head.

2 Comments:

At 5:49 PM, Blogger OrangeDeca said...

It looks like I'm not the only one with this idea. Patton Oswalt, the best comedian in the world, wrote this version.

 
At 9:58 PM, Blogger Clubberjack said...

Scott Kurtz has a version as well.

 

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